Free firewood!

(some assembly required)

Apparently we're all supposed to "go green" to help the environment and save trees. Why? Because trees do good things, like:

- trees remove 100 to 120 billion tons of carbon each year from man-made sources like (cars, trains, planes, etc)
- trees moderate climate, improve air quality, conserve water and also harbor wildlife
- trees cut down energy costs- air conditioning and heating costs are lower in shaded areas

That's all well and good, but personally I'm not a big fan of trees. Why? Because trees do bad things too, like:

- trees reduce the aesthetically pleasing look of a property by shedding their leaves each fall and refusing to clean up after themselves
- trees increase the cost of insurance premiums and home-ownership by dropping large limbs with reckless abandon
- trees significantly elevate the frustration and stress levels of people living near them

Okay, I made up that last list. But the picture shown here is of a giant branch that fell into my yard Saturday night. And trust me, I am feeling stress and frustration as a result. I bet this whole thing is also going to end up costing me some money.

Since I'm not sure if paper or plastic grocery bags are "worse" for trees, next time I go shopping, I'm going to ask for one of each.