Basketball moans

At 7:55 this morning before I'd even finished my coffee, I was asked the following question: "So, are you a basketball coach?"

Not that it fully explains the situation, but I was at a subbing gig.

Do you remember the show Quantum Leap? Each week the main character would time-travel (ie: Leap) into some ridiculous situation for which he was completely unprepared or unequipped to deal with. The opening segment would show him materialize in the middle of a bullfight or something, then as a bull was rushing towards him he'd get a panicked look on his face and exclaim "Oh boy!" right before they cut to a commercial.

If you've ever wondered, that's a lot what it feels like to be a substitute teacher.

Which brings me back to this morning's question about whether I was a basketball coach. Hmm, let's see... I'm a 5'2" white woman, but no, oddly enough I'm not a basketball coach! And furthermore not being especially sports-minded, you could fill a football rink AND a baseball alley with the stuff I don't know about basketball.

Truth be told, my only "real experience" with basketball comes from the few times I had to drop off and/or pick up my niece at the YMCA where her school's team played. She was only like six at the time, which means it was at least eight years ago. And really all I remember is that it took place at some ungodly hour of the morning, and that juice boxes seemed to play a very important role in the whole thing.

So they wanted a coach and ended up with me. But you know what? I didn't even feel bad. Because statistically, what are the odds that any given person that showed up to substitute teach would have been a basketball coach? Not a basketball fan, player, or memorabilia collector, but an actual coach? Seriously, basketball coaches have to make up a relatively small portion of the overall population.

Besides, I didn't know they wanted a basketball coach. If someone would have informed me of that fact, I would have been more than happy to drink a juice box before I showed up. Well, after my coffee anyway.