Toy story

Do you ever get sick of people? Well let me tell you, last Thursday I subbed for a high-school class that made me think revisiting the whole Eugenics movement might not be a bad idea. At least four of them must have had some sort of untreated ADHD-I. As in "I can't seem sit down and shut the hell up when I'm asked to." I didn't think my outlook on humanity could get much worse, but by the time I left Target today, things had definitely taken a downward turn.

To start, let me say that I purposely went shopping today, a Monday, because I figured at least some of the people in town would be at work. Odd that I would think that, considering so many companies in the area have closed and unemployment is at an all time high. But hey, if you look at it another way, it would also be odd to expect that people without jobs would be out spending money. Bleak economic conditions aside, the Target parking lot was as full today as I've ever seen it. Which given my "down with people" attitude, was not ideal.

I only needed a couple things so I figured I'd be able to keep my "mood" in check long enough to get everything on my list. Unfortunately one of things on my list was a toy. Which meant it was almost certainly located in the toy department. In other words, the place in the store where the traffic flow rivaled that of Grand Central station. Ugh! It took some time to navigate the aisles and some fancy footwork to dodge oncoming shopping carts, but I eventually found a Lego sign with a selection of Bionicle sets underneath.

Of course I'd no sooner laid eyes on them, when a woman swooped in from my left and started grabbing Bionicle boxes right out from in front of me. Seriously rude!

I must have been more on edge than I thought, because even I was surprised at the caustic combination of "swears" I began to call her in my head. I'm Fairly Certain you couldn't even guess.

But ha, I showed her! Without missing a beat, I tossed the only 185-piece kit in my cart and walked away in a huff. At that point, I didn't even know if I wanted it. But I sure as heck knew I didn't want Grabby Greta Grabberson to get it! Besides, there were plenty of the smaller, action-figures (aka: guys) on the shelf so I figured I'd shop around for a bit and give her and Mr. Grabberson a chance to clear out before I came back. Thereby avoiding any unnecessary Bionicle bloodshed.

I returned to the Lego isle no more than 10 minutes later, and immediately thought, "Oh no she didn't!" But alas, she did.

Yep, bitch bought up all of the Bionicle action-figures! Well, all except for three yellow ones. I grabbed one those thinking that come Christmas Eve something would be better than nothing. But you almost know the yellow one is probably the "gay" Bionicle. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying that the purple Teletubbies merchandise never sold as well after Reverend Jerry Falwell outed Tinky-Winky.

At any rate, I hope that come Christmas Day the mean lady's grandson enjoys his new Bionicle army. I also hope that pointy pieces from each of the mighty warriors remain lodged in her carpet well into the new year.