Communication smArts?

I may not have mentioned it before, but as a whole, my family has some
communication "issues." The primary issue being that we don't really do it much–and certainly not well, or with any sort of consistency.

By way of example, I offer an email I received from my sister.
Before you read it, I should explain that none of the content was actually addressed to, or about me in any way.

That might sound odd, but I gather she sent it so that I could glean bits of information in lieu of a more traditional exchange of information, like say, a "conversation."

At any rate, I'm posting it here in relative security (so to speak), since for the most part, my family lacks the technological skill, or more likely, the interest required to read my blog.

To be fair, my sister also sent the email in question to her husband,
and I imagine he understands it all perfectly. Which is good, because frankly, I'm at a loss! Check it out:


> Hi, Thanks for the construction update; I agree with your assessment. I think
> the Champion and Waunakee Comparisons are very useful, and do show that
> Waunakee isn't out of the ball-park. Also, since we put high value on timely
> and convenient completion, Waunakee offers an unusual mix that would meet that
> goal.

> I dressed NPS in the pirate-suit, and made a "Joe-V-like" pirate bandana
> head-wrap. I put his waterproof pants and raincoat on him. I showed him where
> his snacks/drink/coins were located, and I did pack a "reserve" swim-suit,
> since they departed in a monster-lightning storm. We have at least 1.5 inches
> of rain and extreme thunder. We kept power and the computer and TVs appear
> fine. I found the sub sandwich and put it in frig. Remember we have sex class
> tonight at church.


Seriously, WTF?

Waunakee Comparisons? A pirate-suit? Waterproof pants and a sub sandwich? Every sentence, heck almost every word, inspires a question mark on my part.

I seriously have only the loosest grasp of what any of it refers to.

For example, I'm aware that Waunakee is a city in Wisconsin, and I know that my sister's husband has been getting bids for some siding & window work. With that in mind, I'm guessing the first paragraph is discussing the names or locations of two different contractors.

On to the next paragraph. NPS is my sister's code name, lest he be kidnapped via email, for my nephew. He's 7, so I guess he might have a costume party to attend, or his day camp is planning to commandeer a ship. Hard to say.

Further, I have to assume that the waterproof pants, raincoat, snacks and
coins all have to do with camp.

I honestly can't even posit a guess as to the relevance of the sub sandwich.

But then, as if everything that came before it wasn't bewildering
enough, she ends with "remember we have sex class tonight at church."

Whaaa? What on EARTH could that be about?

Of course, the most alarming part is that she actually sent that in an email TO me at work. Not as a Cc'd message or forward with comment. So anyone reading (as in a boss or IT professional) would probably assume the afore mentioned "we" to include the sender, and all of the email recipients.

But let me assure you that I most certainly am NOT planning to attend a class, dialogue or other form of sexual instruction anywhere on the planet, let alone at a church!

Although, now that I think about it, I wonder if anyone at the sex class that night was wearing a pirate suit?

Or dare I say it...waterproof pants?