Snow job

It occurs to me that if you are ever referred to as "the snow blower" of your organization, it might be time to look for a different job.

Because really, what can that mean?

I think it would be something like "well, Bob has the ability to pull us out of a tight spot . . . but we never know if he's going to start when we need him." Yeah, not good.

Compared to other tools and appliances, the snow blower holds a unique role. Will it start when you need it? Roll the dice and find out! Yep, the snow blower sets the bar low, which allows it to rake in the compliments when it pulls through, and when it doesn't, well, what did you expect? The weather outside is terrible!

Personally, I'm genuinely amazed each and every time I get mine to work. And trust me, if my lawnmower or washing machine involved a similar game-of-chance, I would just get a new one.

But the snow blower doesn't worry about being replaced. Even if it hasn't heard about the coffee worms and their fort (the appliances talk you know), on some level it knows that I'm only going to use it a handful of times each winter. That said, I'm not likely to fork out a bunch of extra cash to replace it. And so it has cemented a spot for itself in the household hierarchy. Sitting there in the corner with a mocking attitude. I can almost hear it muttering things like: "Worry about me starting? Maybe you should start -- TO EXERCISE! Yeah, I heard that shoveling was a pretty good source. Seriously dude, it's sort embarrassing that you even own me."

The thing is, if I'm going to clear the sidewalks and driveway before work in the morning, I need a little help. It's hard enough to get on the road each morning, and I certainly don't want to become known as "the old clock."

You know? The one that's never on-time . . .