Okay, remember the InstaJack(tm) wireless phone jack thingy I bought? Well, it sucks -- don't buy one. I tried every possible wire /outlet /phone combination but could not get the darn thing to work with my answering machine. And since getting the answering machine into the kitchen was pretty much the point, well I needed to figure something else out.

The funny thing is, I spent more time screwing around with the wireless InstaJack(tm) thing than it took to run a wire from the basement and install a new jack.

That's right, I installed a phone jack -- all by myself! Actually, it was ridiculously easy. Seriously, if you've ever paid to have this done, you were ripped off.

Well, I should say it was easy after I got over my fear of the whole electrocution thing. Yeah, call me a wuss, but electricity really scares me. Of course, when I looked up "phone jack installation" online, the article I found said I didn't need to worry about turning off the electricity, because of the wires involved were low-voltage.

But you know me -- or maybe you don't, so I'll tell you, I'm a bit of a safety freak. To me "no need to worry," translates into "use extreme caution!" As such, I tried hooking up the new phone jack without actually touching any of the bare wires or contact points. Instead I used two needle nosed pliers -- one in each hand. I felt sort of like Edward Scissors-Hands. Yeah, big surprise that didn't work. After my third attempt, I was so frustrated that I just grabbed the wires, unscrewed the bolts and got the job done without so much as a shock.

The most amazing thing is that the new jack works!

Of course, now that I know how to do it, I'm thinking of installing jacks all over the house. Closets, entryway, bathroom -- hey, why not? You see before I started the project, I purchased a phone jack installation kit that included a bunch of extra jacks, so there's really nothing stopping me!

Too bad telemarketing is on it's way out. I could have set up my own little call-center. As it is, don't be surprised if you hear water running in the background the next time you call.

At this point a shower-phone is almost inevitable.