Oh boy. First I had a dead opossum in my back yard, now I have a sick squirrel in my front yard. Well, I think it's sick anyway. It doesn't look so good, that's for sure! I've noticed it skulking around out front about a week ago. And then again this past weekend, again last night while I was picking up my recycling container and again this morning as I was leaving for work.

I know, you're probably thinking that it's not that unusual to see a squirrel in the yard. I mean, where else are they supposed to be? Yeah, but the skulking behavior is NOT normal. It moves too slow and it doesn't run away when you walk near it. Plus, it's always on the ground -- which can't be the safest place for a squirrel. I mean, if you have the ability to climb trees, why not spend most of your time up there -- you know, away from the cars? Hint, hint.

It's the same with ducks. They can fly, but somehow, every year a certain portion of their population manages to get run over by cars. Oh yeah, it's so friggin cute to hold up traffic while you and your duck buddies waddle across the street -- cute until you end up under the wheels Donald! How about you put some wind beneath those wings and fly? Dumb@ss.

Back to the squirrel. I'm a little concerned about this situation. I wonder if there's a small animal plague in my backyard. Remember, the opossum was found dead of no apparent cause. Okay, I didn't exactly call in the CSI guys, but it didn't look like it had been attacked or partially eaten or anything. Maybe it was infected by something. Maybe rabies. Maybe the squirrel has rabies too. Maybe it's going to bite me and give me rabies! Ahhhh, attack squirrel on the loose!!

Of course the other possibility is that the squirrel has brain damage. You see, I'm the proud owner of a Daisy Repeater BB gun. And while it's not exactly legal, I must admit that on occasion my friends and I have taken a few shots at the local wildlife -- just the annoying wildlife. Anyway, on one such occasion, I remember someone shooting at a squirrel in the back yard. We didn't know if it was hit or not, but after a couple minutes the darn thing FELL out of the tree it was in. Imagine that! So I'm thinking maybe this is the same squirrel. And that it was either psychologically traumatized by the fall, or possibly has a BB imbedded somewhere in it's tiny squirrel brain.

Either way, the skulking needs to stop.